I grew up closeted in a very religious community. Even in person, when I’m trying to muster up the courage to talk to a cute guy, I first wonder if he’s 'into black guys.' I hate myself for even having to contemplate these things, and I’m now left asking myself: Why am I not drawn to other men of color?Īnd the more I think about it, the more complicated the answer seems. And when I scroll through Grindr’s grid of faceless torsos, I find myself only messaging guys with complexions lighter than a paper bag. When I’m on Tinder, the men I’m more likely to swipe right are usually athletic white men between 21 and 30. While I may flirt or develop friendships with other Black gay men, I’ve never seriously pursued a relationship with one. I tried to deny it, but when I thought about my dating history, I realized that my friends were right. But when I discussed my issue with friends, other queer men of color, they all said I have a type: white men. I like to think of myself as someone who’s adventurous when it comes to love and sex, someone who’d never rule out potential partners or new experiences. That's not uncommon among millennials, but as a Black gay man, I've begun to wonder how my race has affected my chances of finding love. I’m quickly approaching my 25th birthday and have come to the realization that I’ve never been in a long-term relationship.